consequences

i was talking with a good friend this morning

actually we were texting

and the conversation actually began yesterday evening

so, now that i have destroyed my opening line, i’ll continue

my friend had sent me a very encouraging text.  and that always means so much to me.  i am the kind of person who needs encouragement and affirmation as part of my regular diet.  it is easy for me to get discouraged or to be very self critical, and the words of encouragement that come from those close to me mean alot – to me, they speak directly to my ability to place myself into God’s hands and let him work through me.

and that makes all the difference.

that means that my goals are being met

that means that my actions meet up with my intentions and my teachings

and so this friend and i were texting, sharing thoughts on how God works in and with and through us.  and for me, that is a very humbling thought…

God, in me

God, with me

God, through me

God… and me

and in the middle of this conversation my friend asked me, “tell me, what was the one moment that you had virtually every ear engaged — on the edge of our seats?”  [i just realized that you need a bit of background for this to make sense... i delivered the sermon yesterday morning]  i had a thought, but i didn’t want to draw attention to my blundering so i responded with a “hmm… not sure.”  the response came and confirmed my dread, “consequence — when you ‘messed up’.”

i had messed up.  if you were there, or if you grab it off our website and read it, you will know that i stood there and stammered, and fumbled around inside my head trying to find a word… and it wasn’t coming to me.  so people started to feel so sorry for me that a few even offered words, but they weren’t what i was looking for.  i was paralyzed!  and then it came to me – ‘consequence’.

how in the world could i not think of the word consequence.

but i moved along and tried to bring a word of God and a big challenge to the members of our congregation.  and i almost forgot about ‘consequence.’

my friend reminded me that even in my blundering God was in control.  and in fact, my friend showed me how God used that moment to draw the keen attention of everyone in the auditorium and help us all refocus on the word being spoken… my friend said, “i marveled on the spot at how God used your weakness to be strong.”  and he continued, “your audience loved you most at that moment i think.”

and isn’t it true?

don’t we identify with weakness?

in a world where everything is polished and nipped and tucked, isn’t it refreshing to find something real and honest?

aren’t we drawn to the vulnerable?

and so, i  was again humbled.

God was using my friend not only through his words of encouragement, but in reminding me of what we have long known… in the words of the apostle paul:

for the sake of Christ, then, i am content with weakness… for when i am weak, then i am strong.

 

thank you, friend.

looking out over denver

i’m looking out over denver from our 25th floor window.
and it’s beautiful.
the lights
the sounds
the plains to the right, stretching farther than you can see
the mountains to the left, reaching up to the throne of God

my heart is full tonight.
sandy and i are here for two reasons:
i am exploring a conference on spiritual formation – the 1st i’ve attended
the better reason, sandy’s birthday is tomorrow.
(she sits at the desk with her laptop right now working on a report for her full time job)

i love spending time away with her

tonight i experienced a very moving and inspiring discussion of worship followed by a time of deep, restful prayer, centering on God’s protection, provision, and presence as we fall into sleep tonight.

compline

when i made it back here to the room sandy listened as i tried to share with her the thoughts and reflections of my heart. (she listens well) and as i shared with her i came to a conclusion… one that i do not have adequate words for, but a conclusion none the less:

“there are times when our hearts are so full – not full of joy or sorrow or of pain or fear or anger, but there are times when our hearts are so full of God that nothing can bear our soul but tears – tears of love, submission, gratitude, belonging.”

may you share some time with God in tears

my this painting

i began painting again.

not that i am really a painter in the first place, but it is an activity that brings me joy.  i love to take a blank canvas and create.  for me, it is that process of crafting and creating that is most enjoyable.  sure, there is pride and satisfaction in a completed work.  and it is fun to share it with friends.  but for me, it is all about the process.  painting is a place where i can be still, where i can ignore the pressures and cares and worries and busyness of life and just be still in my soul in the presence of God.  and i like that.

so last night i finished my latest painting.

i brought it in to the office with me this morning because sandy said that she wanted it for her office.  i thought i would go ahead and deliver it for her.

when i made it to the office i shared the painting with the others who were here and we began talking about it.  of hand i called it “my this painting” and immediately that became the title for this, my newest painting.

(you need to understand that i do not paint realism… what i do is abstract, and tends to be fairly geometric)

so as i sat there holding the painting we began to discuss which way is up.  i mean literally – i was holding the painting up and turning it 1/4 turn at a time clockwise, each time hearing the merits or lack thereof for that to be the correct orientation for the piece.

then i shared sandy’s thoughts on the piece… something about a beak and sand, but with reversed colors, and a row of lounge chairs.  then my perception of a city and sky, and then greg’s interpretation of a dust storm… or a moment captured from a recent family vacation.

i was struck by the wide range of personal interpretations that came from the unchanging paint and canvas that we were all looking at.

and i thought about truth.

i thought about understanding truth.

it’s not always clear-cut, black and white, spelled out for all to see.  at times we have to look at the words, examples, principles before us and form our personal impression of what they mean.

and that’s not easy for some of us to stomach.

we want answers.

we want definitive resolution.

we want to know.

and still, as i sit here, typing this blog, i look at my painting and there truly is no right way to hang it.  there is no up.

with some of my paintings there is an up.  with some of my paintings there is a clear and definitive right way to hang them on the wall.  i painted them with an expressed vision and an intended orientation.  with those paintings there is an up.

and with most truth, there is an up.

God doesn’t leave us to confusion and wandering, but directs us into his perfect will – into his truth.

but there are times when we have to look deeply into his truth – studying every brush stroke, and only then apply his truth to our life in the best way we can.  we have to decide which way is up and find for ourselves a picture of truth.

 

i think

green ink on a yellow sticky note

i hadn’t planned to blog today.

i had planned to work on my lesson for sunday.

i still need to do that by the way.

but as i was working and thinking i turned in my office chair and caught a glimpse of my most treasured possession in this office.

it is not that good-looking – tattered and discolored.  the pages are all still there, but the binding is broken and the cover holds almost no clue at all as to what is written upon the pages – corners beaten down, finish worn to the point of looking a little leprous, black duct tape holds the spine together, packaging tape peeks out from under the duct tape as a reminder of an earlier bandage for the binding, the cardboard of the cover is bent slightly outward from use.  inside, the pages are covered in ink – black typeset, but also black and blue and pink and green, and wonderful colors of handwriting and underlining and stars and brackets, and arrows, and circled words.

but it doesn’t look neglected

it doesn’t look abused

or mishandled

it looks very worn

very used

very loved

and for me, those marks are especially endearing because i know the hands that caused that wear.  i know the eyes that scoured those pages.  i know the hands by which the jottings in the margins and on the inside of the cover came to be.

i love those hands

those same hands that held me close and comforted me from my infancy.  those hands taught me so many lessons… the easy way, or the hard way.  lessons like reading, counting, cleaning, and cooking… loving.

months ago we made the hand off in secret.  we both knew that i was not the only child who would want her bible.  but mom knew i would want it, and so she brought it to me.  it’s the kind of cherished gift that often we don’t receive until our parents have passed.  it is an heirloom unparalleled.

often i turn and open that bible.  not often to read a text, but to read her text.  sometimes to see if she had marked a passage or written anything in the margin.  but more often, just to see her handwriting – to see the familiar loops and lines of the handwriting i would recognize anywhere.  when i see it, i can almost hear her voice.  and that comforts me.  it inspires me.

today, as i opened mom’s bible, i noticed a little piece of a yellow sticky note inside the back cover.  it is just a scrap – most of the note has long since been torn off and made its way to the trash.  and on the yellow paper of the sticky note is green ink.  a verse that i was familiar with, but that she had boiled down to essence.

“quick to hear

slow to speak

slow to anger

james 1:19″

today, this is my breath prayer.

thank you mom.

love you

the kingdom is never in trouble

this sunday morning i had the opportunity to share a word of God with our congregation.  i had a couple of people mention that they would like to see it in some form on here.  so here it is… not a transcript, but almost a behind the scenes peak at what i had prepared to share.  here is the written form of the sermon that i wrote and referred to as i spoke yesterday morning…

once upon a time, a long long time ago, there was a great and powerful King.  he was regal and majestic, yet kind and compassionate.  and all who gathered in his presence praised him with glory and honor.

his castle was huge!  his throne room was enormous, filled with precious metals, and gemstones, and jewels.  his banquet room was always set for a feast – ready for a royal wedding celebration like has never been thrown before.

one day the King decided to create.

and so the great King, who is 3 thought he is 1, spoke and all of the world came to be.  everything we can see and everything we cannot came to be at his command.  at the word of the Father, through the creativity of the Son, by the power of the Spirit – all things came to be.  from nothing came everything!

as time passed, the plan unfolded so that on the 6th day of his work creating everything, the King stooped down, took some dirt from the ground, and began to shape it and mold it.  he formed it like a great Artist, masterfully crafting his finest work of all.  and when he had finished forming the dirt, the King breathed into it his own royal breath – his “ruhah.”  and instantly, the masterpiece – the man, adam, started to breathe.  his heart began to beat, the synapses in his brain began to fire, and life began.

but there was still something missing…  something very important.  you see, the King knew that it was not good for his creation to live alone.  after all, the King created his masterpiece to be like him, and relationship is very important to the King, who is 3 though he is 1.

and so, the King caused the man to go into a very deep sleep and once again, the King began to use all of his skill and masterful artistic talent to create.  the King carefully, delicately began to shape a beautiful, exquisite form.  he blessed this, the absolute pinnacle of his creation, the crowning jewel of all of the work he had done, the final stroke of his masterpiece.  and he blessed her with tenderness, compassion, and a nurturing spirit.

then the King pronounced a blessing on all of his creation because it was so very good!

and so the story begins…

____________________

it’s a story of the kingdom.

the kingdom was the primary descriptor that Jesus used to speak of God’s presence with his people.

the kingdom was the physical reality of God’s presence with his people in ancient israel.

the kingdom is the perfect descriptor of the spiritual reality that you and i live in – in union with God.

and the kingdom is never in trouble. it is unshakable - hebrews 12:28

it is a kingdom with a great and mighty King before whom every knee will bow and every tongue will confess - romans 14:11, philippians 2:10-11

it is a kingdom with a great and mighty King who perfectly provides for every need and completely protects - matthew 6:25-33

this is a kingdom in which we are citizens - philippians 3:20-21

when paul wrote of citizenship he wrote out of a view of citizenship that is all but completely different than our view of citizenship.

paul wrote to christians who saw daily the privileges accompanying the title of citizen and the danger for those who were without it.  he wrote in a time of imperial conquest where many were part of the empire, but very few enjoyed the rights and privileges that citizenship afforded.  the citizen could own land, and travel freely throughout the empire.  the citizen could not be punished or bound without first being found guilty by trial, and even then a citizen’s punishment was often less than that of the non-citizen.

we live in a time of freedom and globalization.  we live in a time of expectation of safety, equality, and entitlement – a time where rights are demanded for all – even enemy combatants.  we live in a time where there is virtually no difference between the citizen and the non-citizen.

but as he writes, paul wants us to know – to be assured of our standing as citizens in this kingdom – citizens with rights, protection, provision, and position.

not only is this a kingdom in which we are citizens, this is a kingdom in which we are sons and daughters of the King - 1 john 3:1, galatians 4:4-6

we are sons and daughters of the King, and that makes us the princes and princesses of this kingdom.  we have not only the rights and privileges of citizens – we have inheritance and the favor of the King.

little girls dream of being a princess – and to their daddies, they are princesses. even disney and barbie understand this deep longing of every young girl’s heart.

little boys long to be princes too – battle tested, valiant, brave, adventurous.

and that is who we are in Christ!!

we are princes and princesses of the kingdom that is never in trouble!

the kingdom is never in trouble!

the King – the Almighty never sleeps nor is weary - isaiah 40:28

the kingdom is never in trouble!

the gates of hell shall never prevail against it - matthew 16:18

the kingdom is never in trouble!

and its citizens are never in trouble

the kingdom is never in trouble!

and its princes and princesses are never in trouble

the kingdom is never in trouble!

the kingdom is never in trouble!!

the kingdom is never in trouble!!!

and so we are enabled and emboldened to live lives of faith

we are able to live lives that show the world and each other what it looks like when people live bravely -

to show what it looks like when people live fully in the promises of their King, following wherever he may lead -

to show what it looks like when we abandon all fear -

to show what it looks like when we abandon all need for control -

to show what it looks like when we begin to understand that the kingdom it never in trouble!

 

we cannot live in or lead out of fear and be pleasing to our King.

he demands that we live by faith

he demands complete control

he demands full reign

whenever we begin to worry and become consumed by the here and now

when we begin demanding the results we want to see

when we begin to manipulate and form alliances based on what might or might not come to be

when we become consumed by minutia and numbers and nuance…

we are claiming the throne for ourselves!  we are telling the King that we know better how to run the kingdom than he does. we are telling him that we can do a better job of defending, protecting, and providing for the kingdom than he.

and that is treason!

 

not only in our lives, but much more in the church – we cannot live or lead out of fear.

the church needs no defender

the body of Christ needs no watchman to keep her safe

she already has a King who promises to protect and preserve her.

she has a great and mighty Groom who rides triumphantly through the spiritual realm, mounted on a white horse, his robe stained crimson with the blood of his victory!

there is no storm that can howl and no gale that can blow so hard that we need to reach and take the helm from his mighty hand.

the kingdom is never in trouble!

we are not the King

we are not asked to do the work of the King – and thank God because even on our best day we could never come close.

we are called to be his “am sehulah” - exodus 19:5

we are called to be his very own precious, treasured possession

we are called into amazing relationship with the King who created us, knows us, adores us, and who gave his life to defend, protect, provide for, and ransom us back from the dead.

 

when we take up our role as his “am segulah” …

the world will be drawn to that kingdom

when the world sees that kingdom it will not be able to look away

when the world tastes the sweetness of that kingdom, it will come back for more… and keep coming back for more.

 

when we read of the kingdom in scripture we do not read of fear

there is no reason for fear

the kingdom is never in trouble

the citizens of this kingdom are never in trouble

the princes and princesses of this kingdom are never in trouble

the King’s “am segulah” could never be in trouble

 

in this kingdom we have assurance like an anchor, tethering us to the depth of his love and mercy and grace - hebrews 6:19-20

in this kingdom we have assurance that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus - romans 8:37-39

in this kingdom we have boldness in our standing because of Christ’s sacrifice - ephesians 3:11-12

in this kingdom we have confidence to become ministers and ambassadors of the kingdom -  2 corinthians 3:4-6

in this kingdom we have confidence  to approach the throne of grace and find mercy every time we are in need -  hebrews 4:14-16

in this kingdom we have confidence to live in the very presence of the almighty King - hebrews 10:19-25

and we know all of this because we have been sealed with the royal seal.  we have been stamped by the King’s own signet – his own sign of belonging – his Holy Spirit. - ephesians 1:13-14, 4:30; 2 Corinthians 1:22, 5:5

we belong to the King and we like this kingdom are never in trouble

we are never in trouble!

we are never in trouble!!

we are never in trouble!!!

 

 

Gatlinburg

we’re driving through nashville.
it’s a pretty skyline – one i recognize – one that brings me back to a week i spent here in july. it feels like a lifetime ago, and in so many ways… it was.

the weight and movement of the 15 passenger van is familiar too. from the 4th row i can see and hear my teen years calling. monroe and bradenton are in there too. tonight the fond memories taunt me and make me feel old. how can a decade slip by like a whisper, leaving such a delicate footprint on the memory.

it has been months since i was last in gatlinburg – spring break 2010. the last time i was there for winterfest was 5 years farther back on the recesses of my memory. both times i was the big guy, the one in charge, the youth minister. this time i don’t yet know a quarter of the students’ names.

it is strange to see how God leads us through life. always in blessing, he has lead me down a road that i could never have predicted, and frankly, one i never would have chosen but by the leading of the Spirit. and i am good with that.

i miss my kids tonight. i miss knowing that i was leading them well, teaching them deep truth and showing them how life looks when lived in that truth. i miss knowing them and being known by them. but i am so very thankful for the moments God met us when we spent time together. and i am so thankful that God has lead us into new streams of his grace and mission where we will experience moments with him again.

i am blessed

I don’t understand

i don’t understand
i just don’t

i have tried
and tried
and tried

and I don’t suppose I ever will

and at some level, that has to be ok
perhaps one day it will be

but today it’s not
it’s just not