presence place

a few weeks ago my wife and i had the opportunity to do something.

it wasn’t anything big really

but it doesn’t need to be

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but before i get there, let me ask you to walk down a path with me…

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how many cars do you pass on the road any given day as you drive or ride in to work, school, volunteer opportunities?

how many digital screens do your eyes fall on in any given day? tvs, cell phones, electronic billboards, computer screens, … and the list just goes on.

how many voices call out for your attention as you go about your daily routine? children, spouse, co-workers, cashiers, friends, telemarketers, radio personalities, … and the list just goes on.

how many activities visit your family’s monthly calendar, weekly schedule daily routine? ball games, grocery runs, practices, errands, outings, last-minute darts here and there, … and the list… you get the picture.

and with all of life swirling all around us and inside our heads, with all of the pressures and concerns that weigh us down – a new diagnosis, and ongoing treatment, the news of loss, the threat of layoffs or early retirement, betrayal, unfulfilled expectation, our failure to meet others’ expectations, … it can be all together overwhelming.

and we carry those mountains of emotional, physical, social, mental, and even religious stress with us everywhere we go.

our lives are filled with the baggage of the past and the demands of the future.

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it is very rare that we are able to just sit and be present.

it is uncommon for us to be able to have a conversation with no distractions – to be able to lay aside every external demand and every internal anxiety – to look another soul in the eyes and listen.

and for some of us it is even more difficult… perhaps it even seems impossible… that we could come into the presence of God, and just be.

to come into the presence of God and not have to have something to say, or something to read, or something to sing… nothing to give, nothing to expect in receiving… just to be in the presence of our infinite and eternal Creator – our Father.

to be present.

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knowing ourselves, and knowing the distractions that try to come into the presence of God on our coat tails, only to drag our attention from him… knowing that, we created our presence place.

and then we shared it.

and so now, when you come to worship with us at sylvan hills, you will find our presence place.

as you come into the doors of our worship center you will see a quiet table in the corner in front of you and to the right.

on it you will find a box.  and beside it you will find note cards and pens.  they are provided so that you can sit for a moment of centering, identify the distractions that have come with you into this place of worship that would keep you from being fully present as we worship our God.

having identified those distractions, the cards are there so that you can write down your would be distractions.  this does two things: first, it helps us recognize that these distractions are real.  and secondly, it helps us to begin putting them out of our focus.

the next step is to put the card into the box on the table… to put the distraction fat away from us, in a place where it must stay as we then proceed to enter into our place of worship.

it may sound a bit elementary at first, and it may feel a bit awkward in the beginning… but it works.

on that table you will also find a frame which holds a piece of paper with these words:

welcome to the presence place

   this is a safe place.  this is a place of peace and of rest.  this is a place that is designed for you to be able to come and put aside anything that would try and get in the way of your ability to be fully present with God.

   as we go through life there are so many demands and expectations that pull at our attentions.  it can be very hard to clear our minds and find peace. 

   our calendars are filled with our work commitments, our children’s school and extra curricular activities, errands we need to run, a spouse who needs a few minutes of quality time… in the middle of all of that, we struggle to find rest.

   our hearts are heavy with the reality of sin in our world, in our friends, in our families, and in our own lives.  and so often  embarrassment and shame cripple the soul.  sometimes we even come to the place of worship, knowing that we need healing and belonging, but fear and feelings of failure keep us from really drawing near to God in the confession that leads us to freedom and forgiveness.

   our hearts are heavy with losses: the loss of a job, the loss of a friendship, the loss of a loved one, the loss of health.  and our hearts are heavy with each little reminder of those losses.  our grief simply will not be comforted.  and we are the only one who knows.

   there are so many distractions that the adversary will use to keep our hearts from being fully present and engaged as we worship our Father. 

   this is the place to lay them down.  this is the place to acknowledge the distractions and then put them away, so that we can be fully present with God and with each other.

this is our presence place

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it is our prayer that it will become yours too.

lifesigns

that is the title.  and the subtitle: intimacy, fecundity, and ecstasy in christian perspective.  a title like that will make you stop and re-read.

it is a short book by henri nouwen, 115 pages.  if you have been keeping track, you know that henri nouwen is one (of several) author i love to read.  other titles of his that i have read and recommend include: life of the beloved, the only necessary thing, the wounded healer, the return of the prodigal son, turn my mourning into dancing, and (my personal favorite) the way of the heart.

but i didn’t sit down this morning to give you that list, or to discuss nouwen, or even to talk about lifesigns.

what i found thought-provoking this morning were two things.  first, the fact that i somehow have piled up enough books that i could go over a year (including packing up my office, unpacking it, and organizing my books) without knowing that i had not returned my friend’s book.  and secondly, the way i read my friend’s book.

so for firsts…  i just don’t understand how i could have missed that book so many times.  i am just glad that i finally discovered that i still have it and can return my friend’s book.

the thing that has kept me thinking is the book itself, and how i read it.  and i mean to be very specific – it is the book, the physical paper and ink and pencil scratches that are curious to me.

i read this book in a way that i have read none other.

i read it with post-its.

i know.

weird.

but let’s remember who is writing this blog… then it might not seem quite as weird.  or it may.

so here is the story:  we were at lunch with a group of friends one day when friend “h” handed a book to friend “c” and the two of them entered into a conversation about the book and its author.  i am a lover of books and i had recently discovered my appreciation for the writings of henri nouwen.  (coincidentally, i had also recently discovered that he died in the 1990s and i would never have a chance to hear him speak in person… so i was disappointed.)

friend “h” had borrowed the book from friend “c” and was returning it.  i asked my friend if i could borrow it sometime and he handed it to me.  i was expecting to borrow at some time in the near future, but i was willing to walk away with it that day and hold on to it until i could read it, as i was already in the middle of another book and didn’t want to start another until i had finished the first.

i laid the book on my desk, and it sat there for a couple of weeks.  then one friday i stuck it in my satchel and brought it home with me for the weekend.  as i began to read i noticed something… the book had been read by at least 3 individuals before me.  how did i know that?  easy: there were markings throughout the book that were distinct.  there were words and phrases underlined in black ink, others in blue ink, purple ink, and a set in pencil.  the markings all ran concurrently, so it was obvious that the readers were not the same.  what’s more is that there were a few places where a couple of the readers were compelled to write in the margins and include numerals in a couple of lists that nouwen authored.  all together they communicated a community of reading that had gone on with this little book.

i discovered quickly that i was going to have to acquire a copy of this book for myself and so i did not add to the markings in the book, but rather grabbed a stack of post-it notes that i would put on a page when i wanted to highlight or remember something.  the intent was to transfer them all to my copy of the book when i obtained one.  and so i read with my post-its.  31.  i read it with 31 post-its.

i learned with that book, that i absolutely love to read other people’s books.  i love to see what portion of text stood out demanding their attention.  i love to see the jots in the margins.  perhaps that is the part of me that craves communal experience even when i am sitting alone in a quiet place with a good book.

since then i have continued to loan out my books.  but i have yet to have a single book return to me with a friend’s writing within the pages.  perhaps it has to do with our ideas of respecting other’s property.  perhaps something else.  all i know is that i was blessed by borrowing my friend’s copy of this book.  perhaps he will let you borrow it too sometime.

i sat today in silence

i sat today in silence

and waited

i waited for something new

or ancient

the silence was hushed away

by something

anything

everything

the rustling of fallen leaves

the scamper of tiny feet

yet silence

the creaking of swaying pines

leaning, yielding to the wind

still silence

hues of orange, gold, and red

eyes fill with wonder and awe

and silence

skin warms, glows, illuminates

soft in the sun’s autumn rays

oh, silence

not silence

not alone

but beauty found by silence

sitting today in silence

and waiting

God met me there today

 

poverty

recently i was re-reading a portion of a book that has sat on my shelf for a few years.  in it the author takes the reader on a journey through his development of faith and his journey from privileged life which included religion to a life of passionate faith among the poor.  the author shares about his time among some of the world’s most poverty-stricken people, among those who were deemed untouchable by society due to their medical diagnoses.

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as i read, the thing that struck me very deeply is the reality of poverty.  and not only the poverty of those in another country who go days without food, months without adequate clothing, and years without shelter from the elements.  that poverty is very real, and it is absolutely tragic.  and we must do what we can to help heal those injuries and injustices.

but poverty is so much broader than that picture.  yet most of us never realize the poverty of our own lives.

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just as devastating as material poverty are the poverties of:

. loneliness

. . addiction

. . . betrayal

. . . . deceit

. . . . . abuse

. . . . . . ignorance

. . . . . . . self-reliance

. . . . . . . . unrealistic expectations

. . . . . . . . . entrenched sinful behavior

…and the list never ends.

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poverty doesn’t pick favorites.

there is no race, religion, occupation, or family immune to the tragedy of poverty.  there is only an almighty God whose love is unfailing and whose children must be channels of his riches and blessing, releasing those who are imprisoned by poverty.

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what is your poverty?

how can the richness of God fill completely, and heal your life of that poverty?