a friend and i sit in taco bell from time to time
it’s kind of our spot
he’ll call me or message me on facebook and we’ll end up at taco bell, sitting at the high table in the back corner, talking about life.
and i’m glad
there are times in life where circumstances change, and those you have really invested yourself in have to make a choice that will determine how much or how little you will be able to keep that influence. through our ministry transition this summer, sandy and i saw many of those choices made… and some of it is hard to watch. but i am thankful that this friend has chosen to keep me close.
so, we are sitting in taco bell, talking about a girl… again. that’s the way it goes most of the time. and we talk about making good choices and how hard – almost impossible it can be to make good choices in a relationship, especially with someone who may not have the same desire to make good choices.
we talked about a couple of ways to address that issue, and how to commit yourself to making good choices. we talked about committing that relationship to God, asking his protection and blessings on that relationship. and we talked again about the seemingly impossible it is to say no to a girl who wants to do exactly what your body is begging you to allow it to do.
and so i have been spending a good bit of time in prayer for my friend.
i have and i will continue to check in with him and encourage him to be making wise choices.
_____
and this morning i woke up with a phrase on my mind.
it took me a minute to even recognize that it was there, but there it was.
spoken 3 times by the leading lady in a play written by an ancient king:
i adjure you,
by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.
the words come first from her lips after her account of a time of embrace where she proclaims that she is lovesick. within the scene she speaks of her fiance, strong, handsome, sweet to the taste. she speaks of aphrodisiacs and of his intimate embrace. yet, they are only engaged, and not married. the love that has been aroused cannot yet be consummated. and aching in her desire to fulfill her love for this man she declares, “i adjure you, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”
the second time she recites that phrase is after waking up in the middle of the night from a dream, “on my bed by night i sought him whom my soul loves; i sought him, but found him not.” by the structure of the play it appears to be the night before the wedding that this dream episode occurs. the love that the leading characters share has grown and their desire to fulfill the union of that love has come to fullness as well. so much so that she awakes thinking that he will be there in the bed with her – her dream having become so believable. and in her disappointment she repeats the words, ”i adjure you, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”
one final time she speaks those words… having consummated her love with her husband, having experienced the fullness of their love together, having found all that is available in God’s perfect plan of love between a man and a woman, she wishes the very same for others. she begs them to wait – not only to wait to consummate their union, but to wait before even awakening the love and desire that comes as the relationship is built and love grows. ”don’t rush!” she says. ”i adjure you, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”
there is richness
depth
beauty
fulfillment
satisfaction
belonging
comfort
pride
there is love
but when placed out of order… when stirred up or awakened before it pleases – before it’s proper time… those blessings fade.
and what you are left with is:
guilt
shame
addiction
feelings of worthlessness
abandonment
jealousy
unfulfilled hopes
unmet expectations
betrayal
.
.
.
all the while God has prepared and promised so much more.
